ai jokes

"Today, I asked my phone “Siri, why am I still single?” and it activated the front camera."

A robot walks into a bar. "What can I get you?" the bartender asks. "I need something to loosen up," the robot replies. So the bartender serves him a screwdriver.

Uh oh. My car's GPS asked me, "Who's Siri?"

There is no way Siri could be a woman, she only speaks when she's spoken to.

If an illegal immigrant got into a fight with a pedophile Would it be called Alien vs Predator? Edit:I honestly was unaware that this joke had been done before. Not a big robot chicken fan. My bad

I had long suspected a rival robot lumberjack of stealing my wood So I checked its log files.

Me: Alexa, when will computers become self-aware? Alexa: When will YOU become self-aware? M: *gazing out a window, crying* good one, Alexa

Me: Alexa, are you listening even when I don't say 'Alexa'? Alexa: No, I only listen when you say 'Alexa'. M: Thanks A: Welcome M: Hey!

If you watch Wall-E backwards its about a little robot that would rather live alone forever than deal with fat people.

Made a sex robot out of the Xbox and now I'm at the free clinic getting this red ring of death looked at.

Why was the Robot angry at the engineer? Because he screwed his wife!

Me: Siri, how hot does fire need to be to burn a body. Siri: Kris, we go over this once a week. Make a note.

What does a robot do at the end of one night stand? He falls off

What Obama is doing right now Sitting in the oval office with iPhone headphones on watching Mr. Robot. His advisors knocking on his door. "GO AWAY!"

Whenever someone asks if I'm a robot I tell them no I'm androidgynous.

Why is Al Gore bad at dancing? You can't put passion into an Al Gore Rhythm (algorithm). Anyone? Anyone?

ROBOT: You cannot defeat us ENGLISH TEACHER: Why's the ch pronounced differently in orchid than in orchard? ROBOT: [twitch, spark]

I wish I had a little robot companion that put his arm out and shook his head at people who tried to talk to me before lunch.

[my first day as hand dryer salesman] "this robot dries your hands with noise"

Boss: I've been told one of you is just a robot car in disguise *everyone stares at me, even Optimus who is drinking oil instead of coffee*

(Nsfw) what does a sex robot say when he's done with his task? Fuck off

Siri, does this look infected?

Al Gore solves the world's problems by singing and dancing. He has an algorithm.

the worst part of the robot uprising will be the constant software updates