My new Girlfriend told me "A small penis shouldn't be a problem in a loving relationship" I still wish she didn't have one.
mature jokes
15,046 total · showing the first 120 · page 2 of 5
Donald Trump was really bragging about how big his penis was last night. Obama doesn't believe him. He's now calling for the release of his Girth Certificate.
Australians don't have any problems with gender pronouns... Because we call everyone cunt.
What's the difference between my jokes and my penis. My jokes don't make women laugh.
Why did the pervert cross the road? Because he had his dick stuck in a chicken
What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute? One you pay $500 an hour to screw you. The other one has sex for money.
You know how horny the Romans were back then? For fuck's sake, they even nailed Jesus!
One day my kids will find a "We're Closed" sign for a grocery store & ask what it is & I'll sound like the old guy explaining shit in Zelda.
Why are gametes so popular? Because sex cells!
My penis is jealous because... baby, you just blew my mind
How do you reuse a condom? Turn it inside out and shake the shit out of it!
some say bill gates named his company after his penis. but Steve jobs named his company after the size of his tumor
What porn do Saudis get away with? Camel toes.
I am never more aware that I don't have boobs than when I'm paying for my own drink.
Damn girl, are you reddit? Cus you repeat the same stupid shit over and over
For sale: The entire Internet on 33,674,964,367 DVDs. Or without porn, on 54 DVDs.
My sex life That is all
Afghan shaking a carpet I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor balcony shaking a carpet. I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it fucking start?"
*smudges lipstick* *smears eyeliner* *gets mascara on earlobe* *never tries make-up sex again*
Yes... I retweet. Isn't that kinda the point? Spread the love and shit? Mostly shit... But that's your fault...
[NSFW]- What is David Bowie's zodiac sign? Cancer.
Pizza is like sex. When its good, its reeallly good, but when its bad... It's still pretty damn good.
During sex im like a high energy photon hitting the Earth's atmosphere... I come fast and dont penetrate very far! ... ayyyyy!
Is your mum black ? Cause she has a massive dick.