Why are cigarettes good for the environment?
one liner jokes
81,636 total · showing the first 120 · page 2 of 5
They kill people.
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it leaves you and never comes back.
Option 1: Let’s eat grandma.
Option 2: Let’s eat, grandma.
Priest: “Do you have any last requests?”
Murderer sitting in the electric chair: “Yes. Can you please hold my hand?”
Why does a mermaid wear seashells?
Because she outgrew her B-shells!
Man: “Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?”
Doctor: “To the morgue.”
Man: “What? But I’m not dead yet!”
Doctor: “And we’re not there yet.”
None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
What's the process of applying for a job at Hooters?
How did the woman terrify her gynecologist? She learned ventriloquism.
What’s the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? The taste.
What was the problem with the origami adult channel? It was paper view only.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra…
What do two female vampires say to each other after a date? See you next month.
What gets longer when pulled, slides over your chest, and is easily inserted? A seatbelt.
What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? You can unscrew a lightbulb.
What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a vein in your hotdog.