valentines day jokes

What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine's Day? Ughs and kisses!

Valentine man I knew him, you see, This certain young man, And that is why I saw him and ran. In the plan of the ages This tragedy is That I should be An acquaintance of his.

What did the runaway melon say to the honeydew on Valentine's Day? I cantaloupe.

Pencil Me In Boy: Do you have a date for Valentine's Day? Girl: Yes, February 14th.

I have my entire Valentine's day planned with my toaster! Okay, so first, we're going to take a bath.

What did the boy cat say to the girl cat on Valentine's Day? You're purrr-fect for me!

Fellas: Make it a Valentine's Day she'll always remember by simply forgetting it.

missing someone one Valentine's Day joke with your self when you missing someone and think they will come back but other person ignoring you and you think they will come back to you one day...

Why should you send your sweetie a valentine? Because you always heart the one you love.

A valentine? IN THIS ECONOMY?!?

I call McDonald's to make a reservation for Valentine's Day, just to listen to the stammering and confusion from the kid answering the phone

A man asks his wife what she wants for Valentine's Day. "I want you to get something that will make me look sexy," she says. So he goes shopping and returns home with a case of beer.

Happy Valentine's day! Do you know what the word of the day is? Legs!.....Should we go back to my place and spread the word?

They told me to keep it in my pants... But it was too hard. Happy Valentine's Day folks!

I got a blowjob for Valentine's Day. (NSFW) I'm so fucking fucked if my wife finds out.

For Valentine's Day my GF upped my life insurance policy. Unrelated, anyone know why there's a ticking sound coming from underneath my car?

Why is Valentine's Day the best day for a celebration? Because you can really party hearty!

To those who are sad because nobody loves them at Valentine's Day, worry not... ...nobody loves you on any of the other days of the year either.

My mother has now been sending me a Valentine's card for 28 years. She's persistent but I'm not interested.

Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day? Sure, they're very scent-imental!

Happy Alentine's Ay! It's like Valentine's Day, except without the V or the D

A poem for Valentine's day Roses are red Poppies are red The grass is red Oh no my yard is on fire

It's kind of fcuked up that Valentine's Day is the only socially acceptable time to trade sexual favors for gifts.

What kind of flowers do you never give on Valentine's Day? Cauliflowers!