accountant jokes

That Hamburger Helper hand guy. There's a twin out there, right? Didn't go into showbiz. Maybe an accountant or something.

What does it mean when an accountant is drooling out of both sides of his mouth? His desk is level

What kind of ant is good at maths ? An accountant !

Did you hear about the constipated accountant? He just couldn't budget.

Did you hear about the constipated accountant? He just couldn't "budge-it".

What do you call a female accountant? An accountant you sexist fucker.

accountant: "youre basically broke" wife: "he keeps spending money on stupid stuff" me: "lets ask the dog if he thinks his jeans are stupid"

"Vintage designer purses are not a retirement plan," says my accountant while rubbing his temples.

Why did an emo become an accountant? There's no cuts like tax cuts.