artist jokes

Subway is rolling out a new signature sub. Ask your sandwich artist for the 'Jared'. It is served with less then 13 grams of fat.

I like to think that every time I press the dislike button, Pandora sends an email to the artist. Take that, Beethoven!

A con artist, a pervert, and a racist walks into a bar. The barkeep looks up and says "The usual, Mr. Trump?"

If the stick figure people started committing more crimes... I could be a legendary sketch artist for the FBI.

What do you call an artist who has no money baroque..... (I'll just see myself out)

Why couldn't the artist get a driver's license? He gave off a good Impression, but couldn't make a Van Gogh.

POLICE SKETCH ARTIST: is this the man who robbed u *holds up picture of himself* ME: yes POLICE SKETCH ARTIST: give me ur wallet ME: dang it

The best late artist of the late 20th century yelvis. I AINT NOTHING BUT A HOUND DOG. CRYING ALL THE TIME.

Prince The artist formally known as alive

What do martial artist love to drink? WATAAA

There was the Florida State defensive tackle who thought Hertz Van Rentals was a famous Dutch painter.

Artist Prince has passed away at the age of 57 I guess this is what it sounds like when doves cry.

What's on a gangster artist's t-shirt? Still Life.

I posed nude for an artist once. *selfie stick

[describing criminal to sketch artist] He had the damp chest of a man with an excessive lisp. He was eating a newspaper.

What is the Difference Between a Pretentious Asshole, and a Brilliant Artist? About 6 feet.

What did the collage artist say to her assistant? Looks like I got my work cut out for me.

Why did the painter from Boston have trouble making friends? He was way too autistic for his own good.

I bet if a renaissance artist traveled through time to a modern museum, they'd be like: "Uh-oh. Someone leaked my nudes."

If a tattoo artist... If a tattoo artist does an absolutely perfect tattoo on only one butt cheek, is that still considered a half-ass job?

POLICE SKETCH ARTIST: describe the suspect "He was holding a pencil, wishing he was a real artist" {pencil stops moving} "And he was crying"

I live in constant fear that my kid will become a famous artist or painter and I will have thrown out about a trillion dollars of her work.

A courtroom artist was arrested today for an unknown reason... details are sketchy.

What's a pickup artist's favorite breakfast? Steak and negs. In shame and solitude