A gynecologist wants a career change, so she enrols in classes to become a mechanic. She’s nervous for the final exam, but studies hard and hopes for the best. When she sees the final grade, she freaks out because it’s 150% and goes to see the instructor. The instructor explains: “You took the entire engine apart, every nut and bolt, without breaking it. That got you 50%. Then you put it all back together perfectly and it ran better than before you’d started. So that got you another 50%”. “But what about the extra 50%?” Asks the woman. “Oh,“ says the instructor. “You got a bonus for doing it all through the muffler”.
mechanic jokes
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A walrus takes his car to the mechanic. The mechanic needs an hour to work out what the problem is, so he tells the walrus to go somewhere and come back later. The walrus decides to head into the nearest ice cream parlor and get a dessert. But he struggles to eat without hands and get ice cream all down himself. After an hour, the walrus heads back to the mechanic’s shop to find out what’s wrong with his car. As soon as he walks in, the mechanic says, “It looks like you’ve just blown a seal”. The walrus replies, “No, it’s just ice cream”.
How can you tell when a mechanic just had sex? One of his fingers is clean
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horses ass? Mechanic.
Stupid funny One time Back when I use to be an auto mechanic I drove around in an Italian car. The car kept telling me to add oil but I never did and one day the car exploded killing every body.
Standing behind a lady at Home Depot. Heard her ask for suggestions for tools to buy her grandson who was studying to be a quantum mechanic.
A Paladin takes his car to a mechanic. "Whenever I'm driving, I get these strange urges to run over pedestrians." The mechanic has a look under the car. "Your alignment is off."
There was an episode of the Flintstones where a mechanic worked on Fred's car HEY FRED YOURE GETTING RIPPED OFF THERE IS NO ENGINE IN THERE
An Eskimo was driving through new Zealand His car suddenly broke down after a small wait the mechanic told him "aw shut bro you've blown a seal" to which the Eskimo replies "shut up you fuck sheep"
Mechanic: that's gonna cost $2000 Me: how much? Mechanic: $3000 Me: what did you say before that Mechanic: I said "that's gonna cost"
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse's ass? A mechanic!
What does a mechanic do for a one night stand? He nuts and bolts.
Mechanic Hey, have you ever heard of that hard working car mechanic that specializes in engines and the back of cars? They say he gets very exhausted.
I finally decided I want to be a car mechanic. Guess it just took some motor-vation.
How do you know a mechanic just had sex? One of his fingers are clean.
I'm no auto mechanic but I'm pretty good at letting people who drive behind me know whether or not they need new brakes
What does a mechanic do during a 1 night stand? He screws, nuts, and bolts
Did you hear about the auto mechanic who went to a psychiatrist and insisted on laying under the couch?
Call out to CAN_ZIGZAG: what do they call it when a mechanic frees up a stuck gearshift? Manumission
Did you hear about the mechanic who accidentally punctured the wheels of his car? He retired.
How can you tell when a mechanic has had sex? When one of his fingers is clean.
Where does an atom go when it breaks down? A quantum mechanic. lel
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse's arse? A mechanic.
Why did Einstein refuse to help people fix their cars? Because his colleagues would call him the Quantum Mechanic.