A gynecologist wants a career change, so she enrols in classes to become a mechanic. She’s nervous for the final exam, but studies hard and hopes for the best. When she sees the final grade, she freaks out because it’s 150% and goes to see the instructor. The instructor explains: “You took the entire engine apart, every nut and bolt, without breaking it. That got you 50%. Then you put it all back together perfectly and it ran better than before you’d started. So that got you another 50%”. “But what about the extra 50%?” Asks the woman. “Oh,“ says the instructor. “You got a bonus for doing it all through the muffler”.
school jokes
2,210 total · showing the first 120 · page 1 of 5
Johnny was sitting in math class one day when his teacher called on him to answer a question. She asked, “If there were five birds sitting on a fence and you fired a gun at one of them, how many would be left?” “None,” Johnny replied, “because the others would all fly away”. “The answer is four,” said the teacher, “but I like your way of thinking”. “Now I have a question for you,” said Johnny. “Three women are sitting in an ice cream parlor. One is looking at her ice cream, one is biting hers, and the third is licking it. Which one is married?” “Well,” said the teacher nervously, “I guess the third one”. “It’s the one wearing the wedding ring,” Johnny replies, “but I like your way of thinking!”
Timmy comes to school late. When the teacher asks why, he tells her, “I had to take a cow down from the barn and get her bred”. Then the teacher asks, “Couldn’t your father do it?” Timmy replies, “Sure, but not as good as the bull”.
A math teacher had a bird, and he trained it to talk. One day it escaped, and he yelled out the window, "Polly gone! Polly gone!"
knock,knock Canoe. Canoe who? Canoe help me with my homework?
My art teacher told me to draw a Tardis I think im going to fail since I just drew police box.
Hey sports fans, here's my NCAA pick: bet it all on the Savannah College of Art & Design. Go Fighting Acrylics!
Getting a job right out of college... ENTRY LEVEL JOB OPENING: Hiring recent college grads. REQUIREMENTS: 5 years of experience, 6 Olympic gold medals, and super powers.
Math teacher joke Why do math teachers never get constipated? Because they always work problems out with a pencil.
Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: I was mugged on the way to school and the mugger took everything I had
To me, the worst part of the prostate exam is when the doctor says, "Guess how many fingers."
Change sentence to tense? Teacher: Change this sentence into Future Tense, "I killed a person" . Student: The Future tense is "You will go to a jail"
Why didn't the rat go to college? It gotten eaten by the bear...and bears don't go to college.
What did Dracula say to the teacher? See you next period.
Where do galaxies go to college? University! Happy 1st day back to school to many of you :)
A student asks his maths teacher.. Student:Do you believe in god? Teacher:Well,I believe in higher powers.
Why did the students eat their homework? Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.
Teacher draws a penis on the blackboard. "Does any one know what that is?" "Yes," says Tommy. "My dad has two, a small one for weeing and a big one for cleaning the babysitters teeth."
My boss has stopped letting me leave early for my son's Little League games ever since he learned he's in his second year of college.
My mom is having a hysterectomy. This is like the time I moved away to college and she tore down my childhood bedroom.
This census and Tax stuff is crap. I want to live in a country that doesn't assign homework.
A joke from my old physics professor.. How Long is a battleship. True or false? False. How Long is a man from China.
Why did the blonde...... Why did the blonde fuck the mexican? Because the teacher told her to do an ese'!
Dog Teacher: did you finish your homework Dog Student: (still chewing) almost