student jokes

Change sentence to tense? Teacher: Change this sentence into Future Tense, "I killed a person" . Student: The Future tense is "You will go to a jail"

A student asks his maths teacher.. Student:Do you believe in god? Teacher:Well,I believe in higher powers.

What's the big deal about jesus turning water into wine? I turned MY student loans into vodka...

A student is the only one in the school who can take retests... They say he is remarkable.

Dog Teacher: did you finish your homework Dog Student: (still chewing) almost

My Boyfriend hates it when we role play and I'm the Doctor cause I make him wait 3 hours bill him then send in a med student named Chad.

Why didn't the engineering student have a good relationship with his professor? There were too many truss problems.

Thank you, student loan, for getting me through college. I don't think I can ever repay you .

What spell does a Hogwarts student use when they pregnant? fetus deletus!

Every time student loan rates double, the price of solo cups should get cut in half.

You hear the one about the transgender student? He spent his Junior year a broad.

Professor: A wise man doubts everything. Only a pin-head is positive. Student: Are you sure of that sir? Professor: Positive.

Teacher: If a chicken give you meat, a pig give you bacon, what does a fat cow give you? Student: HOMEWORK!

Computer Science major walks into an English class The Professor says "Welcome to English 101". The student panicks. "What's wrong?" asks the Professor. "I missed the first 4 English classes".

Teacher: Today, we're going to talk about the tenses. Now, if I say "I am beautiful", which tense is it? Student: Obviously it is the past tense.

Punishment - joke A student is talking to his teacher. Student: "Would you punish me for something I didn`t do?" Teacher:" Of course not." Student: "Good, because I haven't done my homework."

Optimist- The glass is half full Pessimist- The glass is half empty Engineer- The glass is twice the size it needs to be. College Student- I can't afford the glass.

Student: "May I go to the toilet?" Teacher: "What for?" Student: "To open the Chamber of Secrets"

The grammar teacher said "In English, two negatives make an affirmative, but two affirmatives never make a negative." A student replied... "Yeah, right!"

Why did the Ewok ESL student do so well with conjunctions? He felt at home with And/Or.

A student told the teacher when he grows up he wants power. The teacher replied well your gonna first need to learn algebra..lol

A student once told me the Big Bang was a lie, just like evolution. Then he asked me what my sign was. I'm just a prof. I can't fix stupid.

Someone literally said this in class Teacher: "Half the world is a cess pool" Student: "The middle east isn't half the world"

The Suicide Bomber Teacher said to his student... "Come here and listen closely, I'm only gonna show you this once"...