[Mad scientist lamenting] "All that work, trying to create a perfect palindrome ..wasted! DAMMIT I'M MAD !" (Pauses) "Hey...wait
scientist jokes
456 total · showing the first 120 · page 1 of 5
Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door? He wanted to win the No Bell Prize.
What do you call a scientist that measures things in space? A cosmetrologist.
What do you call a quantum physicist's hair style? Schrodinger's cut
What do you with a dying chemist? Well, if you can't helium and you can't curium, all you can do is barium!
Why did the climate scientist cross the road? To analyze the chicken s carbon footprint.
Hollywood should remake "Freaky Friday" between a priest and a scientist. The Title should be "Converting the Masses"
Scientist: a rat will choose cocaine over water until it dies. I've repeated this experiment thousands of times, because I hate rats so much
A nuclear physicist is drinking at Oktoberfest... He approaches the bar to and calls over a barman. The barman asks what he would like, and the physicist raises one finger and says, "Ein Stein".
What did the physicist say to the man about to jump off a building? "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"
New Scientist magazine reports that a team of British engineers in Bristol have developed a car that runs on human shit ...I bet that "new car smell" doesn't last very f*cking long.
Scientist have created five monkeys with autism. They were promptly made mods of r/jokes
"My research shows that vegetables triple in vitamin content when used as pizza toppings," said the awesome scientist in my imagination.
Doesn't take a rocket scientist to understand A neutron walks into a bar, and asks: "How much for a drink?". To which the bartender replies: "For you, no charge"
A physicist sees a man about to jump off from the top of Sears Tower... He yells to him "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"
What kind of father names their child Adam? A scientist.
How does a scientist make a hormone? The same way I do: don't pay her!
What disease does a mad scientist have? boffin spongiform encephalopathy
Chemistry joke thread? I'll start: I was at -273.15C one time. It was OK. What do you do with a dead chemist? Barium I'm sorry guys there really are no good chemistry jokes: all the good ones argon.
A Joke I Thought Up in Stats Why didn't the scientist tell his colleague the t-value of a test with 21 degrees of freedom and a p-value of 5%? It was a t-crit! Thank you and goodnight!
What instrument does the Irish chemist play? The boron.
Why did the local university invite a foreign chemist? Florine talent.
A scientist walked into a room that was -273C Don't worry though, he was 0K
What did the dyslexic chemist do? He drank H20, too!