scientist jokes

Cop: Know why I stopped u? Scientist: No Cop: How much science u do tonite? Scientist: Just one-[test tube falls from coat] Cop: Get out

What does the scientist say when asked if Invisibility Cloak will be applicated by the military? Yes, but you won't see it any time soon.

What is a physicist's favorite social movement? Half-lives matter.

Timmy was a chemist's son. But Timmy is no more. What Timmy thought was H2O was H2SO4.

I said to the chemist: "Can I have some sleeping pills for the wife?" He said: "Why?" I said: "She keeps waking up."

What did the scientist say when he stubbed his toe? Flourine Uranium Carbon Potassium.

i did a lot of experimenting in my teen years. i knew that's what i'd have to do to become the caliber of scientist i am today

How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber? Ask them to pronounce 'unionized'

What did the frozen scientist say? "It's fine, I'm 0K"

Scientists hard at work to find out what the other 98% of 2% milk is: "Probably not bees," says one scientist. "Dear god what if it's bees?"

Q: Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door? A: He wanted to win the No Bell Prize.

Two biologists are discussing a new book on amphibians... Biologist 1: What did you think of the chapter on frogs? Biologist 2: Oh it was quite ribbiting.

Don't make a scientist mad. They will research you.

What do you get if you cross a soldier and a scientist? A marine biologist.

What does the horny scientist call a lobotomy? Getting head

My kid needs me to help him with a report on any famous black scientist. Can we do Dr. Dre?

What do you do to a chemist after they're dead? you barium

Why did the marine biologist jump off a bridge? He lost his porpoise in life.

What do you do to a chemist after they die? You Barium

What do you do with a dead chemist? Barium

Why did the chemist die? He ate a Pb and J sandwich.

How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber? Ask them to pronouce unionized

Who is the scientist's favorite zombie? The schrodinger cat.

Did you here about the scientist who got cooled to absolute zero? He's 0K now.