I went out for dinner tonight... ...and they tried to charge me for salt and pepper! I thought it was condimentary.
food jokes
6,027 total · showing the first 120 · page 4 of 5
With KFC's announcement they've created an edible coffee cup, the chain is ready to face its next challenge: creating edible food.
A redditor walks into a reddit restaurant Sorry, all our servers are busy, please come back in a minute.
OCD My little cousin has been diagnosed with an unusual case of OCD where all he does all day is organise dinner plates by the year they were made, It's an extremely rare dish-order........
Subway's Jared Fogle sentenced to 15.6 years... Where his diet will be regulated to just 6 inchers.
Me: *[pulls back shower curtain] "Dinner will be ready in 10 minutes" Him: "Who the hell are you and should I be scared?"
Pizza delivery boy . . . What does a pizza delivery boy and a gynecologist have in common? They can smell it but they can't eat it!
Who makes dinner in a lesbian relationship? Neither, they eat out.
Q: What did the cook say to the dough? A: I "NEED" you!
If I could have dinner with anyone, dead and alive, it would definitely be Schrodinger's cat.
The man who invented AutoCorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.
Jeffery Dahmer Did you know Jeffery Dahmer used to cut off his victims noses, put them on pizza and eat them? He called it Dahmer-nose pizza.
I like my coffee just like I like my slaves... Free
The dinner I was cooking for my family was going to be a surprise but the fire trucks ruined it.
I Masturbated so well last night That when i woke up this morning my dick was in the kitchen making me breakfast!
What does a black and white bear use to cook it's dinner? A pan, duh!
I bought what I thought was a Burger King But infact it was just a little Wimpy.
Surprise your family by quitting your job and becoming a coffee table.
[watching porn] This is crazy! He delivered that pizza like half an hour ago. *cups hands over mouth* IT'S GETTING COLD! IT'S GETTING COLD!
A guy is out to dinner with his wife... Wife: See that drunk guy at the bar? Guy: Yeah, what about him? Wife: He proposed to me 10 years ago, but I turned him down. Guy: Wow! He's STILL celebrating!
A breakfast crime Did you here about the egg who *cracked* the case?. He was super *yolked* so it was *over-easy*.
I like my coffee like I like my women... with a big cup size.
[diet journal] day 1: hungry day 2: hungry day 3: hungry day 4: ate neighbor
Me: I snuck in my own candy and a drink Her: This is a funeral home Me: Without a snack bar