Why don't women need umbrellas? Because it doesn't rain in the kitchen.
food jokes
6,027 total · showing the first 120 · page 5 of 5
Protip: Never look up from your breakfast if you hear the words "gruesome discovery" coming from your TV on the morning news.
I like my women like I like my coffee Wait a sec...I am gay
When I go to Burger King, I like to get a Whopper and a Whopper jr. then make the Whopper watch as I eat the Whopper jr.
The washing machine broke so I had to wash my undies in the river. As a bonus, 3 catfish floated to the top afterwards, so dinner is served!
"NO YOU'RE DRUNK," she says playfully into the mirror, then promptly resumes disappointing her boyfriend's mom at family dinner.
What did the fry cook do when he found out he was cooking burger patties made of feces? He flipped a shit.
What do kids eat for breakfast? Yogoat!
*reheats leftovers from yesterday's dinner date* *takes bite* *waiter from last night knocks on window* "how's everything tasting folks"
A money-hungry man opted to change his name And the Rich get Richard
What does a guy with a big penis have for breakfast? Well, I had eggs for breakfast.
Why did the Hipster burn his lip? He drank coffee before it was cool.
Who had the best dinner with Megyn Kelly after the Fox Republican Debate? Dracula.
*Eats a snack while making a snack*
Thanksgiving regret: no one at dinner wanted to talk about why the family members on TV's "Dinosaurs" were all different species of dinosaur
If you ask me to review a restaurant, I have two answers. "The hamburgers are good." And, "They don't have hamburgers."
A redneck walks in to a restaurant with his wife, sister and cousin He walks up to the host and says table for two please
"My research shows that vegetables triple in vitamin content when used as pizza toppings," said the awesome scientist in my imagination.
I like my coffee like I like my slaves... *Free*.
What kind of Pop do you cook with? Baking Soda
Why is my kitchen floor so gross I just mopped like 3 months ago.
Anteater Kid: What's for dinner? Anteater Mom: Don't be a smart ass, Brandon.
I'm gonna cook tons of bacon, crush it up and sell it for extra money to support my family. Bacon Bad
How can you tell a clock is hungry? It goes back four seconds