thanksgiving jokes

So I shot my first turkey for thanksgiving today... It scared the hell out of the people in the frozen foods section though.

What will Putin have for thanksgiving dinner? Turkey

Tomorrow's Thanksgiving! Have a fowl meal!

What does Miley Cyrus eat for Thanksgiving? Twerky I'll show myself out.

What's the key to a great Thanksgiving? Turkey

Thanksgiving regret: no one at dinner wanted to talk about why the family members on TV's "Dinosaurs" were all different species of dinosaur

My heart goes out to all the parents who are about to see how much weight their kids have gained at college during the Thanksgiving break.

Damn girl, are you a pig? Because your mother looks like a pig. Because you look damn hot bacon in the Sun. Because I want to stuff you like Thanksgiving dinner. . . . More suggestions appreciated

I think my favorite Thanksgiving food is pie But some people say that's irrational...

It's almost Thanksgiving day... Remember to set all your scales back 10 pounds tonight.

Why don't blacks celebrate thanksgiving? It's hard to be thankful when KFC is closed

We're celebrating Thanksgiving the old fashioned way at my place this year By inviting our neighbors over to eat and then killing them and taking their land

I'm officially unsubscribing from r/Jokes I'm sick of all the dumb puns, I'm quitting cold turkey Happy Thanksgiving people

My husband and I make a good team. I'm about to start cooking Thanksgiving dinner, and he's taking the batteries out of the smoke detectors.

How does Vladimir Putin like his Thanksgiving turkey? Nuked

Why do they call the day after Thanksgiving "Black Friday"? Because everything is a steal.

Since Thanksgiving is tomorrow How do you keep a turkey in suspense?

In Russian Thanksgiving... Turkey shoots you. [Meme](https://imgur.com/SHs2Vbt)

Somebody stole my Thanksgiving turkey... I suspect fowl play (IT'S THANKSGIVING TOMORROW! HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!)

What happens when your cousin eats all the Pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving? Plump kin!

Listen, if you are going to someone's house for Thanksgiving, compliment their baseboards. That is what they are spending today cleaning.

[Thanksgiving] ME: hey dad will ya pass the peas DAD: say please ME: hey dad will ya pass the please DAD: *tears up so hard*

All Canadians are hipsters because they all celebrated Thanksgiving a month before it was cool.

Thanksgiving is probably the only day that there are more searches for "stuffing" on Google than on PornHub.