none jokes

Everything I like is either: illegal, immoral, fattening, addictive, expensive, or impossible

You know what I don't get? Laid.

If you think the way to a mans heart is through his stomach.... Then you're aiming too high

How many communists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. The lightbulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.

Did you hear about the Chinese godfather? He made them an offer they could not understand.

Ladies, not every guy who talks to you wants to bang you. Some of us know that you have snacks in your purse.

What's your best "A guy walks into a bar" joke

What do you call spiders in the Middle East? Iraqnids. Yep. An original.

*Running late *Light turns green but car in front wont go *About to honk when reads bumper sticker: honk if you love disco *Is late for work

I have a great knock-knock joke But someone else has to start. Go

One Girl, Two Cups would be a terrible name for a bra shop.

Organ Freeman http://i.imgur.com/plVQyUC.jpg

Why did the little girl in the flower dress fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

What's the similarity between Bill Cosby and Santa have in common? They both come when you're asleep.

I bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer I'm not sure what he laced them with, but I've tripping all day.

Here's hoping 2013 is the year in which I finally fix the bugs in my new time machine. -garyDelaney

I went to a weiner emporium today... I never sausage a sight!

The Brooklyn Nets

I accidentally sent a photo of my penis to everyone in my address book. Not only was it really embarrassing but it cost a fortune in stamps.

What must a policeman have before searching a rabbits' home? A search warren!

Why are there no knock-knock jokes about America? Because freedom rings. Happy 4th of July r/jokes!

What's Irish and stays out all year? Patty O'furniture.

What kind of dough do Hobbit bakers use? Frodough.

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Zero, feminists can't change anything.