sports jokes

Wait - my gym moved? In 1997?

I think I burn most my calories at the gym untangling headphones.

What do you call it when two Mexicans are playing basketball? Juan on Juan.

Dyslexic Superbowl watchers were probably disappointed when they saw football instead of a superb owl.

What's the difference between the 2016 Rio Olympics and the 2016 US presedential race? The Olympic competitors are qualified.

Nancy Grace just called pot smokers "fat and lazy". Right. Unlike the buff marathon runners home 4 o'clock on a Monday watching your show.

Hey my American friend, I heard you like Football jersey's so I got you the new Irish Kit!! *Um, Bro?*

Nice try, Team USA. Not bad for a country that only cares about soccer for two weeks every other year!

Why can no one win at the Bangkok Olympics ? Because it's always a THAI game.

Saw some Mennonites playing Baseball yesterday All I saw was a swing and Amish

I'm black but not " can't understand the Winter Olympics" black. Those guys in the ski race are running from cops on a bobsled, right?

Just got a new set of golf clubs for my wife. Best trade I've ever made

Why is it so hot in a stadium after a football game? Because all the fans have left.

Round metal object they throw at the olympics Discuss.

How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They gave her a basketball.

All these idiots at the gym obviously don't know that it takes more muscles to frown.

I'd hate to play baseball with the witches from Macbeth. Because I don't like playing baseball with girls.

I go to the gym religiously Christmas, and maybe Easter

Why do midgets laugh when they play soccer? Because the grass tickles their balls.

A bunch of kids from the varsity Minecraft team bullying an athletic loser who brought a football to school.. Visions of future war

If I was Baltimore's head coach I'd probably just say "That's so Ravens" after every play.

Why aren't burgers too good at basketball? Too many turnovers!

Watch closely as the husband quietly approaches the calm children, riles them up into a frenzy, then slyly escapes to watch football.

Dad said he met my stepmom outside a strip club... "But Dad, you said you met her on a golf course!" "Exactly. We weren't inside a strip club."