technology jokes

What do you call a bowl on the internet? Ebola

Life hack: ask telemarketers and phone scammers to go steady seconds into the conversation and never be bothered again OR now you found love

I still remember when everyone wanted their phone to be smaller. Now that we can watch porn on them, everyone wants them bigger.

(On phone) Him: I just ran a marathon in under four? Me: (eating) months or years?

Im using free internet because my neighbor did not protect his wifi via password.

How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb? None, it is a hardware problem.

Dear Sharks: You may get your own week on TV, but house cats get their own eternity on the internet.

Two reasons i never let my girlfriend touch my iPhone 1)I don't have an iPhone 2)I don't have a girlfriend.

Can you imagine getting the girl of dream's phone number and her first text to you she spells it "defantely"

Pupil (on phone) : My son has a bad cold and won't be able to come to school today. School Secretary: Who is this? Pupil: This is my father speaking!

Listen auto-correct, I've never tweeted about a duck. But I've tweeted the word fuck over 2648 times. Smart phone my ass.

Tinder isn't a babysitting app. Apologies to Crystal and Janine for the misunderstanding.

How a phone recall works. Samsung: Send us your exploding phone. Microsoft/Nokia: A software update will fix that. Apple: You are using it wrong.

MOVIE LINES Don't you hate it when you have to wait in lines I wanted to see a movie the other day and the line was huge. Next time I'm going to download off the internet.

I don't know why I even bother having an iPhone anymore. It spends so much time on charge, you might as well call it a landline.

I turned on my computer. It said hello. Its a dell.

Does the S in iPhone 5S stand for "superficial"? "Shallow"? "Slave"? Or "soon to be obsolete"?

Dear Apple: When I want to say "fuck" & "shit" I don't want to say "duck" & "shot". So duck the iPhone! Oh, shot!

What do you call a fat computer? A Dell. -- Credit where credits due. Got this off of some dude's donation on Summ1t's twitch stream:P

*uses Ouija board* NEW PHONE WHO DIS

yo mama is so fat she can sit on a t3 cable and make the internet traffic slow right down to 1 bit per day.

I had to pick a password that was 8 characters long. I went with 'snowwhiteandthesevendwarves'.

If the wife uses dual sim phone, save both numbers under one name : "Wife" Never save them as "Wife1" and "Wife2" ~ A husband from hospital

According to my laptop, my New Year's resolution is 1680 x 1050.