A gay and a lesbian are going to the airport. Who gets there first? The lesbian. She got there lickity split while the gay guy was still packing his shit.
travel jokes
1,027 total · showing the first 120 · page 4 of 5
"Flight 1234 are you ready to copy holding instructions?" "Center make that request on the next frequency...."
[at airport] TSA: sir, you've been randomly chosen for a cavity search. ME: that's cool i didn't know my flight included a dental cleaning
How Dave Grohl spent his night in his hotel room after the concert in Gothenburg, Sweden? He watched movie Cast Away (starring Tom Hanks) and ate some potato chips.
I threw an Asian man down a flight of stairs. It was Wong on so many levels.
Did you hear about the ghoul's favorite hotel? It had running rot and mould in every room.
Man who walks through airport turnstiles sideways.... is going to Bangkok
Why did the airport luggage checker refuse to date the depressed man? he had to much baggage
maintenance guy at the airport just told me he'd rather look at girls' poop than guys' poop. No more small talk today.
Did u hear about the new plane that's going to be 2000 ft long? it's going to be the longest flight ever
What did the boulder say to the other boulder? I rock. You Rock. We Rock. Disclaimer: This joke was made during a 6 hour road trip with the family. My only scenery was rocks.
A family walks into a hotel... ... The father goes to the front desk and says "I hope the porn is disabled." The guy at the desk replies. "It's just regular porn you sick fuck"
Two gay guys are going on vacation... ...the night before they are to leave, one gay guy says to the other, "Hey man, can I pack your shit?"
If you want to be happy... For an hour, buy some ice cream. For a day, see a movie. For a week, go on vacation. For a month, get a new pet. For a year, get married.
What is the most successful hotel? Auschwitz, 6 million stars.
I work in a popular hotel... I see people come in to stay from all over the world, yet for some reason I've never seen a Native American here. I guess they just don't like to make reservations.
Finally realizing that Hotel California is about Twitter. "...you can check in anytime you like, but you can never leave..."
I'm in a hotel room atm. It has about 1034 millibar and 1 minibar. Sorry.
What's the highest rated hotel in the world? Aushwitz, 6 million stars.
I have a flight to catch but there is a cat on my lap
Why are condors such efficient fliers? All their luggage is carrion.
What do you call in-flight pilot training? Air conditioning.
Do you know why one side of the the V formation of geese in flight is longer than the other side? Because It has more geese in it!
My favorite Star Trek episode is that one where Captain Kirk saves the Klingons hundreds of dollars on hotel reservations.