wedding jokes

The interesting thing about the Royal wedding is ... ..... exactly ....

I've fallen in love with a pencil and we're getting married... I can't wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B.

Why are wedding gowns white? Cuz the dishwasher should match the stove and the fridge

Just watched my wedding video backwards - Loved the part where I took off the ring, left the church, and fucked off with my friends

Why did the bride and groom get married in a hot tub? So that the bride wouldn't get cold feet.

Forgot to buy a gift for a friends Wedding. Luckily someone died at an intersection nearby so I scored a cool wooden cross and a teddy bear

What did people say after two satellite dishes got married? The wedding was dull, but the reception was great.

'the red wedding was my favorite part' -- drone operator

WIFE: why is the dog wearing a tux? ME: u said to groom him WIFE: i meant brush ME: oh...sorry buddy, wedding's off DOG: this is bullshit

Imagine me sitting alone, pouting in a wedding dress with a defeated slump and unwrapping and eating a Snickers bar. That's my fetish.

Haven't heard from my boyfriend in 3 days. Trying to start a prayer chain. He blocked me after I set up a wedding website so please RT.

What do you call it when you dream about getting married? Bed wedding.

Why did the bride's best friend become a Samurai... because she was made of honour.

My condolences for you and your family through this difficult transition is why my wife won't let me send back wedding RSVP cards.

Him: "Can we have a Doritos themed wedding?" Me: "no." Him: "well, what kind of chips would you prefer?"

[Being kidnapped] Me: i can feel it.. Stockholm syndrome kidnapper: its been 10 minutes me: should we invite your brother to the wedding?

Everyone SAYS they want a fairytale wedding but when I show up and curse their firstborn suddenly I'm the jerk.

[wedding] Priest: repeat after me Groom: after me P: ... [to bride] is he serious Bride: no his name is gary

10 bucks says Kanye signed the guest book at his own wedding.

Why didn't the cellphone attend the wedding? He heard the reception was going to be terrible...

Why was Linda so mad on her wedding day? Her soon to be husband forgot how to groom.

What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.

Sorry I wore tear-away pants to your wedding. In my defense I really thought I had on underwear. Also sorry for the shoddy manscaping.

Where did the burgers go after their wedding? On a bun-eymoon!