barber jokes

Why hasn't the Rastafarian gone to see the barber? He's dreading it.

Customer: Why did you take off so much hair? Barber: I didn't nature beat me to it.

So, a man with a baby newt on his head walks into a barber's... And says, "Short back and sides, axolotl off the top."

What does a guy who's self-conscious about his uncircumcised penis say to his barber? Just a little off the tip- I mean top.

The local barber was arrested for selling drugs I think it's completely insane! I've been his customer for years and I had no clue he was a barber.

A man goes to a barber shop... "How much for a haircut?" "$20" answers the barber. "What about shaving?" "$10" "Okay, shave my head, please."

I hope it's not too weird the next time I get a haircut and the barber asks, "So, how do you want it?" and I reply, "Like Ellen DeGeneres."

What's a barber's favourite kind of holiday? Cruising on a clipper.

The barber from across the street was just arrested for selling drugs. I was his customer for 3 years. Didn't know he was also a barber.

I just got a haircut, but I'm not sure I like it. When I stood up from the barber's chair, I felt extremely lightheaded.

Barber: Your hair is getting grey Sir. Customer: I'm not surprised - hurry up will you?

Why did a gun go to the barber? Because it's bangs were getting long!

The barber in my neighborhood just got arrested for selling drugs. I've been a customer of his for 4 years, and I never knew he was a barber.

Not everyone can brag about getting a handjob from their barber after a haircut... But then again, not everyone cuts their own hair.

What did the hair stylist do when the Beach Boys came on? The barber ran

What did Hitler say when the barber shaved his head? Mine hair!!

The barber asked me "do u have any kids" & I said "I do not, no" and he got very quiet, realize now he probs thought I said "I do not know"

My barber just got arrested for selling drugs. I've been his customer for 6 years. I had no idea he was a barber.

A Jamaican went to the barber. It was a dreadful experience.

A barber was arrested yesterday in my area for selling drugs. I've been his customer for years. Didn't even know he was a barber...

I told my barber that I didn't like the way he cut my hair. He said "don't worry, it will grow on you."

What do you call a German barber? Herr Kutz (This was funnier when I was half asleep this morning)

A man walks into the shop of a psychic barber Barber: Say no more

Barber: Were you wearing a red scarf when you came in? Customer: No. Barber: Oh dear! Then I must have cut your throat.