farmer jokes

Why did the farmer start a punk rock band? He was tired of Haulin' Oats

A farmer counted 197 cows in his field... ...but when he rounded them up, he had 200.

Did you hear about the wheat farmer that got sent to jail? His wife *bailed* him out.

What's the smartest animal on the farm? The farmer (this killed my 12yo brothers)

What do you call a corn farmer who wakes up one morning to find that complex branching pathways have been cut into his field? amaized.

Some random farmer stole all of my wheat. Talk about ill-gotten grains.

My mate was freaking out today, crying and all. He had no idea how he was going to become the fruit farmer he'd always dreamed of being. I told him to grow a pear.

How can you tell if a farmer is a good farmer? He's out standing in his field

"oh holy crap this farmer just crucified a dude, maybe we shoud stay away from this farm" - what crows realy think when they see a scarecrow

How did the aliens hurt the farmer? They trod on his corn.

What would santa be if he was a farmer? A jolly rancher.

What is the difference between an epileptic oyster farmer and a prostitute with diarrhea? One shucks while he fits and the other one....

What did the farmer say to the chocolate cow? Get to the back of the meat grinder!

How does an Arab farmer find his goat in the sand dunes? Very satisfying.

What Does a Farmer and Dubstep have in common? They both drop beats!

What job did the farmer give to his learning-disabled child? Herder

What is a moo hoo for a delightful ranch owner? A charmer farmer!

I need a career involving less interaction and more pizza. I've narrowed it down to: Pizza Farmer Pizza Hunter Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle

A farmer in Nebraska just had his fence destroyed by a tornado, and he's asking for our help He heard we have a lot of experts in re-posting

How is being a pimp like being a farmer? You get some hoes and they get dough for you.

What did the fat pig say when the farmer dumped corn mash into the trough? "I'm afraid that's all going to waist."

Why did the farmer win an award? because he was out-standing in his field

What's a catalyst? It's how a farmer keeps track of his cows.

Why did the farmer cross the road? He was fucking the chicken.