politician jokes

If the hamburgler was black he'd be dead because mayor mccheese was basically rudy Giuliani

Girl: We have a mayor. Do you? Horse: Sure! Girl: What do you call it? Horse: Same as you do. Mare!

Who is tall, orange-skinned, blatantly racist, should not be a politician, and makes everyone groan whenever he appears on TV? Jar Jar Binks

What's the difference between a politician and a comedian? People care when a comedian speaks.

What do these 2 have in common What does your mum and a politician have in common? When they scream they make no sense

Redundancy: An airbag in a politician's car!

My town is so small... the Village Idiot doubles as the Mayor.

People say Donald trump is inexperienced as a politician... But he's the best damn liar I've ever seen!

What's the difference between a bad mechanic and a politician? With the mechanic, there's a shot something might get fixed...

What's the difference between Politicians and Thieves? Thief: They steal your money then run Politician: They run and then steal your money

What happens when you give Viagra to a politician? He gets taller

What do you call a corrupt lawyer? Senator.

Grammar is super important.. Because I don't want to be the mayor of fucking Austria. I want to be the mayor of [Fucking, Austria.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fucking,_Austria)

I can't believe I lost my candidacy for mayor of my hometown I kissed so many hands and shook so many babies.

What's the difference between a statesman and a politician? A statesman is a dead politician. God knows we need more statesman.

What's the difference between a politician and a tiger? One of them is a big puss

A Cuban, a Canadian, and a White Supremacist walks into a bar... The bartender asks "What'll you have Senator Cruz?"

"I move that we eliminate paper money altogether and use only coins!" - a stack of change purses disguised as a US Senator

Now I really am just like Christine O'Donnell (not a Senator)

Senator Clinton what is your favorite flavor of pie Well the Republicans........... Edit: Secretary

What's the difference between a baby and a politician? Saying they are full of sh*t means 2 completely different things.

Senator John Tester from Montana and his executive assistant both have only seven fingers. That is so hot!

MAYOR'S TIP: before you spend 20 minutes blowing an air mattress, make sure it's really an air mattress, and not Gary hiding under a blanket

What's the difference between a politician and an actor? One acts solely for money, the other is the actor.