salesperson jokes

I just bought a bidet The salesperson told me it'd clean the shit out of me!

I was a trampoline salesman Off and on.

[buying treadmill] Me: Can I try it out first? Salesperson: Sure Me: (pulls out laundry basket and hangs wet clothes on it) I like it.

Me: Yes honey.. I know.. a stroller for the baby. I got it. *hangs up* Salesman: As I was saying, the largest hamster ball we sell is a-

Ford Ibble A car salesman asked me, "What are you looking for in a car?" I said, "It has to be affordable" He said, "I'm sorry sir, I've never heard of a Ford Ibble."

What did the Mexican carpeting salesman yell to promote his business? Underlay! Underlay!

[used car] ME: my credit's bad SALESMAN: k ME: i'm a criminal SALESMAN: no law against that ME: i'm on the run SALESMAN: then you need a car

What did the lunatic vacuum cleaner salesman say to his son before murdering him? Dyson.

What salesman has the slickest line? A hair grease salesman.

I've never been a great salesman I'll tell you that for free

Chinese salesman I had a long talk with a Chinese man selling shoes the other day. It was a pleasant converse-asian.

Hi, Id like to buy a Nutri-Bullet, pls. Salesperson: Ah, nice. Off on a cleanse or health kick? Yes. *imagines drinking lasagna* For sure.

My Uncle Bill was a terrible door to door salesman. He never once was able to get one door to buy another.

Why was the calculator salesman happy when he sold his cheapest calculator? Because they all add up!

I had to quit my job as a refurbished dildo salesman due to the recent influx of gay customers. Things have been pretty shitty lately.

My new job! I will start my career as vacuum cleaner salesman, and my name will be "Mike Dyson"!

[furniture store] Wife: We're putting in a bar. Salesman: OK Wife: And... S: Yes? W: Go ahead, say it. Me: WE'RE GONNA NEED A STOOL SAMPLE.

What does a bad salesman and a toilet have in common? They are both full of crap.

A WASP goes into a clothing store to buy a suit. He asks a salesperson, "How much is this one?" The salesperson says, "It's $1000." The WASP says, "I'll take it."

Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a salesman. Over the phone.

Latvian man goes to buy iPhone.. Premise ridiculous! iPhone cannot be use to farm potato. Also, salesman die of malnourish.

I didn't let my st-st-stutter stop me from achieving my dream career I'm a door-to-door salesman. I sell "No Soliciting" signs. The more I st-st-stutter the more I seem to sell.

A Rabbi, a Catholic Priest and a Salesman walk into a bar. The barman looks at them and says: "Is this a joke?"

I went on a date with a Vacuum Salesperson last night... It sucked.