salesperson jokes

Salesman: This jug is genuine Indian pottery. Customer: But it says "Made in Cleveland." Salesman: Haven't you ever heard of the Cleveland Indians?

I'm getting married! Well, I have a new boyfriend! Okay, I have a date for tomorrow night! FINE. Shoe salesman said "Come back soon".

What did the vacuum cleaner salesman say to his colleague? Hoover fuck said this job would be a good idea?

What do you call salesman with a lisp? Rodger. He's the one with the lisp, not you, so why would you call him anything different?

I told the car salesman my phone kept dying... So he gave me a Charger

You are what you think you are Her: What do you do? Me: Global prosthetics distribution. Her: So you're an artificial limb salesman? Me: I prefer international arms dealer'.

[Car dealership] Me: *taps glove box* How 'bout this one? Salesman: Sir, we've been over this, I don't know how many McNuggets it will hold.

If the salesman doesn't come with me on the test drive, I just take the car home and wait for them to come get it. I have so many cars now.

[car dealership] WIFE: let me do the talking, ur a terrible negotiator SALESMAN: u can drive off with this car for 18k ME: we'll double that

A blind man stands in a store whirling a dog around his head with the leash. A saleswoman asks "May I help you, sir?" "Nah, just looking around."

"This is BULLSHIT" - enthusiastic manure salesman

Knock Knock Who's there? Doorbell salesman!

Salesman: first time buying a motorcycle? Me: that obvious? Salesman: nobody asks "how loud is the vroom?" they ask "what's the vroomage?"

Why was the cemetery plot salesman upset? Business was dead.

[chicken buying a car] Salesman: Hop on in! You're gonna love these bucket seats. Chicken: OH GOD

The awkward moment when you think a customer is a salesperson.

What did the furniture salesman say when he wasn't happy with his haircut? Its a chaise lounge.

[buying a wood chipper] ME: So does blood splatter everywhere when a body goes in? SALESMAN: What? ME: What?

What's going on under there? Nobody has to know but you. - Poncho salesman

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman... I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

A travelling salesman gets into a self driving car. "Oh shit" says the car

Why did the nun get a free hot dog at the fair? Because she spontaneously performed fellatio on the hot dog salesman. This made him feel charitable.

Salesman: That suit looks nice. It fits like a bandage. Customer: Thanks. I bought it by accident.

Why did the spotted pigs run away? They thought the traveling salesman told the farmer to put his name on the dotted swine.