environment jokes

Remember the Three R's of r/jokes Repost, reuse, recycle.

My neighbour is pissed. My recycle bin has missing for months so I've been using hers. My boyfriend is missing too. Same situation.

The buildup of carbon emissions in the atmosphere is a great icebreaker.

Sorry babe, you knew you were dating a bad boy [shuffles Pokemon cards without the plastic covers]

A man walks into a psychiatrists office wearing plastic wrap underwear. Psychiatrist says "Well, i can clearly see your nuts."

What do you call a plastic sheep? Lambinated!

Donald Trump is such a good salesman he could sell ice to the Eskimos. Which will come in handy considering his policies on global warming.

This day in history. 1940. Carbon-14 was discovered, allowing us to estimate the age of organic materials such as wood, leather, and Cher.

Are you a Carbon sample? Because I want to *date* you.

Honestly Officer, the pharmacy ran out of those orange pill bottles so they just gave it to me in this plastic baggie.

My girlfriend and I decided we aren't ready for a baby yet, so I double-bagged it. It worked; babies cannot breath through two layers of plastic shopping bag.

Now I'm not saying pollution has hit dangerous levels in New Delhi, but all my friends there are celebrating Nausea November.

What did the scientist say when he stubbed his toe? Flourine Uranium Carbon Potassium.

Why did the relationship between the creationist and Organic molecule not last ? Because the creationist did not believe in carbon dating.

I've made myself a girlfriend out of plastic food wrap. She's a bit clingy.

When they start getting the 5-day forecast right then maybe I'll listen to their climate change theories.

An unconscious man arrives at a hospital... After a series of x-rays, the radiologist discovered the man had several plastic horses in his anus. The doctors have declared his condition as "stable."

Republicans were just informed about the effects of Global Warming on the polar ice caps They're losing their cool!

Sarah Palin being on a climate change panel with Bill Nye is like Sarah Palin being on a climate change panel with Bill Nye.

Welcome to plastic surgery addicts anonymous I see a lot of new faces here this week, and I just want you to know I'm disappointed.

What effect does global warming have on Pennsylvania? It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

Of course climate change is man-made. It's all been meticulously orchestrated by the Titanic survivors, seeking revenge on that iceberg.

I just ate a silica salt packet and I've been using a plastic bag as a toy because I live life on the motherfucking edge.

Mother in law just said global warming with air quotes. It's going to be a long night.