Why is someone who borrows money but does not pay it all back like a football player? Because sometimes he gives you a quarter back and sometimes a half back.
sports jokes
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Ambidextrous baseball players... Swing both ways
Why shouldn't you play American football with feminists? Because they'll constantly shift the goal posts.
Why did the football coach call his quarterback a hairdresser? Because he missed a split-end on a curl.
Finding that one slob at the gym who's in worse shape than you is the best feeling. The worst is realizing "he" is a mirror.
Did you hear Wells Fargo has a baseball team? They are really good at stealing homes.
hello and welcome to Fantasy Football *Dumbledore passes ball to Frodo* *Gandalf intercepts football and eats it*
A bird gets hit and killed by a baseball The umpire and coroner agreed to call it foul play.
Dude yapping nonstop at the gym just said he works out in the afternoons to avoid people who talk. Is it okay to fling a dumbbell at him?
What did the bad soccer announcer get in his stocking? COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!
What's Hitler's favorite football team? Forty NEIN ers.
When I say I go to the gym religiously, that usually means every christmas and easter.
What do you call it when Oxygen and Nitrogen train at the gym together? Air conditioning
I was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an egg. I thought: 'This could be interesting'.
Why did Cinderella get kicked off for the soccer team? She kept running from the ball.
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a baseball bat and the other is just.... Well... A watermelon.
What do you call a Mexican vs a Mexican in basketball? Juan on Juan
What's better than winning gold at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.
Watching the olympics women beach volleyball first round... There's already been a wrist injury, but I should be ok by tomorrow.
Why don't Jews play basketball? Because even if they miss the shot, they still ask for change.
Why are Asians bad at golf? They don't know how to drive.
I love it when the playoff picture begins to develop in baseball. That means football is beginning.
Pedophile almost wins marathon... He just came in a little behind.
A spider the size of a golf ball is in my kitchen so I guess this is my last tweet.