Have any brief jokes I can snapchat a girl that I like?
general jokes
206,401 total · showing the first 120 · page 4 of 5
Psychic: *rubbing temples* You want to know if your wife's trying to murder you Me: How'd you know? P: *sees knife in my back* I'm good
People who make up phrases and try to pass them off as popular sayings are just throwing meat to the monkeys in the middle of a maelstrom.
What did the farmer say when he tried to milk the cow, but nothing came out? "Time to try the udder one."
Why did the Mexican push his wife off the cliff? Tequila
What's the difference between Trump and a Tree? Only one can get stumped...
What happened to the magical tractor? It turned into a field
"Bros before hoes" sounds like something a bro without a hoe would say.
Any sink has a garbage disposal if you push hard enough.
Which trigonometric fatio is obsessed with the pokemon Suicune? EuSINE
What do you call a peaceful Bruce Lee? Gent Lee (Gently)
I was looking for hours for my thread on Reddit.. Turns out I was browsing with the popular filter :(
"Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you" Yeah....so is a grenade
i forgot to mention those pills i gave you might turn you into a sloth [jim is typing] [jim is typing] [jim is typing] [jim is typing] "ok"
Mt. McKinley will be renamed Denali and for balance GMC will now call its SUVs McKinleys.
I heard a rude joke about Grizzlies the other day... ...but it doesn't bear repeating.
Who wants to dress up as a battery and make Halloween come early this year? I'll be Halloween.
I hate when I drop my chili cheese dog in my car and then I have to eat my whole car.
How many police officers... How many police officers does it take to push a black man down the stairs? None, he fell!
Why is it called a 'dad-bod' and not a 'father-figure'?
My girlfriend has a seashell tattoo on her inner thigh When I put my ear up to it I can smell the ocean
How can you tell your girlfriend is getting to fat? She can wear your wife's clothes.
Gotta be tough for the guy somewhere who has to say "yeah, she left me for Charles Manson."
THERAPIST: what's wrong? WIFE: he always narrates real life- ME: she complained WIFE: see! ME: she exclaimed WIFE: ME: she was speechless