german jokes

German women love me... I'm a ladies man. I saw this fine German woman. I didn't even have to chat her up for her to hastily give me her number. It was easy to remember 999 9999.

I once had a bad meal at a German restaurant. It was guten-free.

Did you hear about the german who accidently put his hand in boiling oil? he Gottfried..

Puts German chocolate in the fridge last night, this morning it's taken over the area that the polish sausage was in..

What do you call a German who doesn't eat meat? A Veget-Aryan

Germany opens a summer school for kids with ADD Its a concentration camp

Why don't German pessimists eat pork.... They always fear the wurst.

How do you get to Auschwitz from Berlin? You have to take the Third Reich.

What was the most popular TV show in Ancient Rome and Germany in early AD? Whose Rhine Is It Anyway?

Where do frogs come from? They're German and a tad-polish

Why are many electronics handbooks banned in Germany? diepole

How do you say no in German? Square root of 81

If you're having luftballon problems I feel bad for you son I got 99 luftballons and whatever whatever I don't speak German

Fun fact about Germany... Fooled ya... There's nothing funny about Germany

Where do bacteria like to vacation? Germany

How much does a German weigh? Teutons.

Why did the German watchmaker say to the watch that kept saying "Tick, tick, tick, tick,..."? "Ve haff vays of meking you tock."

What did the German clock maker say to the broken clock? Ve haff vays of making you tock!

What does the Personal Computer and German people have in common? They're both the master race!

France vs Germany was a close game... it ended in a shootout.

I want to open a gay bar in Germany called Pole-Land. You know they'll invade the place.

There is a new Barbie doll on the market - East German Swim Team Barbie ...a Barbie head on a Ken doll

German engineering isn't that good... ...showers in the camps didn't even work!

What do you call a German living in Canada? A leder hoser.