german jokes

I love when commercials are like "because four million people can't be wrong," because then I'm like, "Really? even Nazi Germany?"

Poland... Poland - a country between Russia to the east and Germany to the west. If they piss Russia off, they turn the gas off. If they piss Germany off they turn the gas on.

What do you call hiring German engineers to work on your overseas project? Krautsourcing

Do you know what number does the German Scrum-Half have on their back? Nein

I went to the largest campsite in germany it was mein kampf by blitz creek

classic germans Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control at Paris airport. "Nationality?" asks the immigration officer. "German," she replies. "Occupation?" "No, just here for a few days."

As a german I have to ask: You know what really grinds my gears? Nothing. Our engineering is perfect.

No matter how kind you are... ...German children will always be kinder. Edit: Since you guys seem to like German jokes so much.

Danke for calling Germany. To order beer, press 1. To order weapons, press 2. To order philosophy, press 1 until it resembles a 2.

How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? One. We are efficient and dont have humour. Edit: Wow this blew up. As a German, I didnt expect this.

What do you call a German outkast? Hey, ja!

I thought I might try my hand at telling a German sausage joke I mean, what's the wurst that could happen?

At the Olympics a man went up to a competitor who was carrying a very long pole. "Are you a pole vaulter?" "No, I'm German, but how did you know my name is Walter?"

I just removed all my German friends from my phone Now I have a Hans-free device

What do you call an angry German? sauerkraut! (sour kraut)

Why couldn't the woman date a German man? Because she was Klaustrophobic!

How do you say virgin in German? Guten tight ( )

Why should you never bet on Germany at the Olympics? They have the worst track record for finishing a race.

It's great to see that the French finally grew a pair of balls and took down a German Aircraft... but the war ended 70 years ago

Hi, I'm from Brazil and I can't go to the backyard, I'm afraid my german shepherd will laugh instead of bark at me...

Gluten Margarine, Reddit! That's Food-German for "good morning".

If Bob Marley is from Jamaica, then why does he have a song about being German and how he wants to be German with you?

No matter how nice your kids are... ..German children are Kinder.

How much does it cost to clean up Germany? About 6 million.