easter jokes

Would you like something from my Easter basket? "Sure!" "Here. Have some plastic grass."

Do you know why the Easter Bunny hides his eggs? Because he doesn't want anyone to know he's been FUCKING CHICKENS!!!

"Why are you studying your Easter candy?" "I'm trying to decide which came first-the chocolate chicken or the chocolate egg!"

What do you call a chocolate Easter bunny that was out in the sun too long? A runny bunny.

Easter is almost here. So to celebrate, I'm going to get nailed and hammered like Jesus would want me to.

Happy Easter And to the Jews, better luck next time

*kid opens Easter egg* *egg begins beeping* "Dad why's it ticking" SON NO THAT'S FROM THE- *egg explodes* *sheds tear* Middle-Easter bunny

What would you call the easter egg roll if Bernie Sanders became president? Weekend at Bernie's.

I went to an Easter Egg hunt without a permit... ...They caught me poaching eggs.

There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Easter Island Barbie ...the famous statue with blonde hair

Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? Q: Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? A: Because he doesn't want anyone to know he's screwing the chickens.

With Easter coming up it has me wondering. Is the Easter bunny a shell for big egg?

Happy Greek Easter! Which Greek God loved to collect animals? Zoos

Why do the French like Easter? Because it's such a bonne idee.

You wouldn't believe all of the Easter eggs I just found lying in the grass outside of this pre-school.

Quit crying, kid. I won this Easter egg hunt fair and square...

Why is business good on Easter? Because prophets rise

What do you call an easter extremist? The middle easter bunny

Why do we paint Easter eggs? Because it's easier than trying to wallpaper them!

What has long ears four legs and is worn on your head? An Easter bunnet!

Being alone with my girlfriend on Easter. "Jesus has risen . . . and so have I."

Last year, I had an Easter egg But it dyed.

A vegan, a few crossfitters and a bunch of atheists are coming over for Easter There's no joke, I just thought you all should know

Thank you Internet stranger for your honorable proposal of marriage. My folks are so excited. They're asking for Thanksgiving and Easter.