consultant jokes

Received a call from a recruitment consultant. She said to me: "Sir I have two openings for you...!" I replied : Yes. I know There was a long silence and then she said..... bastard

Using my good looks and charm i will gain the trust of an orangutan to have it become my personal kush consultant & legal guardian.

What do you call a counterfeit receipt for a memory consultant? A Freudilent slip.

What did the management consultant think of his job? It was the Bain of his existence.

Received a call from a recruitment consultant. She said to me: "Sir I have two openings for you...!" I replied : Yes. I know .There was a long silence and then she hung up.

A Social Media Consultant walks into a bar and orders a drink. He copies-and-pastes the drink to five other bars and requests that they become a fan of it, then bills the first bar for six drinks.

Hi, I'm a high paid business consultant. I see you've named your business "Dale's Paint Supplies" but what if it was named "Best Dog Memes"

Meeting with a social media consultant about how to better leverage my twitter stream for optimum engagement. Kidding. Banging your mom.

I'm at my most financial consultant when I tell the McDonald's employee what my change back should be.

Yo mama.. is so old that Steven Spielberg used her as a dinosaur consultant in Jurassic Park

Did you hear about the cannibal's fashion consultant She had excellent taste. BA DUM PSH

I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

Did you hear that NYC paid Hillary Clinton $2,000,000 as a consultant for New Years Eve? They wanted an expert on dropping the ball at the last second.