The U.S. Army developed a pizza that stays good for 3 years. Finally, those billions in military spending paid off. Your move, Al Qaeda.
soldier jokes
389 total · showing the first 120 · page 5 of 5
What military branch has the largest biceps? The Army.
What did Holly Holm say to Ronda Rousey's date to the Marine Corps Ball? I hit that.
There was a soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray He's now a seasoned veteran.
What do you call a soldier with long arms? An army soldier
When I lost my rifle the army charged me $85.That's why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship. Sometimes shit happens
What do you call 1000 soldiers with no legs? An army.
How do you stop the Polish army on horseback? Unplug the merry-go-round.
Army Jokes by Major Laugh
Soldier had his dominant hand blown off Guess you could say it was an explosive breakup
A soldier was assaulted with pepper spray and mustard gas. He returned home a seasoned veteran.
Why can't a soldier look wistfully across the horizon? Because there are no gaze in the military
What is an army of blue babies on horseback called? A navy infantry cavalry
Why does no one like the swiss army? Because they are all a bunch of tools.
Definition of "copulate"...... What an Italian police sergeant says to a tardy patrolman.
[soldier making lunch] Now for some avocado [grabs grenade] oh oh, if this is here then that means [cut to soldier taking cover for 5 hours]
"I have no porpoise!" -existential marine biologist.
What do you call an army tow-truck? Camotow
My Sergeant told us to "fire at will"... It's kind of a shame. I liked that guy.
What's the difference between a dog and a marine biologist? One wags a tail and the other tags a whale.
Army guy: sniper in the clock tower, 6 o'clock Me [seeing the time on the clock tower says 5 o'clock]: we'll worry about him in an hour then
Q. "Why do the commodes in Marine barracks have the cut-out type seats?" A. "So that if the seat falls while they're drinking it won't smack them in the back of the head"
You're meeting identical triplets tonight. One's from the Army, one's a lifestyle Vegan, and one is a diehard Trump supporter. How do you tell them apart? Don't worry. They'll tell you.
I carry one of those tiny Swiss Army knives with me at all times. You never know when you'll need a tiny blade to thwart an attacker.