God damn it Adolf... I told you to pass me the juice not gas the jews!
religion jokes
6,279 total · showing the first 120 · page 3 of 5
God wouldn't have made children so short if he didn't want you to fart in their faces.
I woke up today feeling like a god! I don't believe in myself. :(
Why do people say amen instead of awomen at church? Because they sing hymns, not hers.
OH MY GOD I FORGOT TO UNPLUG THE TOASTER [flash to dog in sunglasses waiting for his fifth batch of waffles to pop up]
What do you call it when Batman skips church Christian Bale
How to pick up women: 1-approach beautiful lady 2-bend at the knees 3-lift gently 4-oh god she's screaming 5-put her down the cops are here
What was Jesus' reaction to being crucified? He was cross.
GOD: let's make an armored raccoon that turns into a bowling ball ANGEL: but why wou- GOD: and we'll call it an armadillo for some reason
What do you call an atheist in a six foot pine box? All dressed up, with no place to go.
Why did God create men first? Because we learn from mistakes.
A priest, a rabbi, a horse, and a blonde walk into a bar... ...The bartender says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"
The thunder god.. sat upon his favourite Filly, I'm Thor, He Cried! The Horse replied, You forgot your thaddle thilly
Why wasn't Jesus born in lindsay Ontario. Couldn't find three wise men. Or a virgin...
I bring my own pen into the bank because I don't need any god dammed chains telling me where I can and cannot write
Did you see the results of the swimming competition at Lake Gennesaret? Jesus won in a walkover.
what's the difference between Madeleine McCann and Jesus? Jesus died a virgin.
Why did the 80-year-old man call his dick Jesus? It takes 3 days for it to rise again.
everyday im faced w/ a choice b/w good & evil. i try to be good but why woud i ever choose MIRACLE whip when i can hav a HELL MANS MAYONAISE
Jesus went into an inn. He handed the innkeeper 3 nails and asked, "Can you put me up for the night?"
What do you call a bundle of hay in a church? Christian Bale.
Hell yes, I'll be at the stores at 4 am. I'm not going to buy anything, I just like punching people.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change & the strength to lift a car over my head. Saving the third wish for later.
Priest and a Rabbi are walking down the street and pass a playground, some little boy catches the Priest eye, and he tells his friend, "Man I'd like to fuck him." Rabbi replies, "Out of what?"