Maybe we got it wrong and God just wanted to play doctor for a day: 'Here Moses, take these two tablets and call me in the morning'
religion jokes
6,279 total · showing the first 120 · page 2 of 5
Jesus was such a player.... ...he was laid in a manger
The movie "Noah" comes out this weekend. It follows the story of a family trying to survive God's wrath on a giant boat for months. Or as that's more commonly known, a Carnival Cruise.
You know how horny the Romans were back then? For fuck's sake, they even nailed Jesus!
What's the difference between a priest and his dog? One wears pants and a collar while the other wears a collar and pants.
I tried out for the part of Jesus in my school play.... I think I nailed it
What did the farmer say about his missing vegetables? Lettuce pray they turnip.
There was once a man named Devin Who thought his home was heaven He was having some fun But his hands felt numb Bush did 9/11
Amazing how easily that guy scaled Trump Tower. Thank God u can't get suction cups in Mexico cause then wall idea would be really stupid.
When you feel sad When u feel sad.... To cheer up just go to the mirror and say, "damn I am really so cute" u will overcome your sadness. But don't make this a habit..... Coz liars go to hell !!!!
How do we know Jesus wasn't good with the ladies? He only got nailed once
What is the difference between a painting and jesus? A painting only need one nail to hang
What did Jesus say to the Mexicans? Don't do anything until I get back
If there's a God then how come sometimes tomatoes get slightly too soft and then feel weird in your mouth?
Just found some atheist propaganda in this motel room. I opened the dresser drawer and it was empty.
You know... When someone says to you "Jesus loves you." It's always comforting. Unless you are in a Mexican jail.
A student asks his maths teacher.. Student:Do you believe in god? Teacher:Well,I believe in higher powers.
age 1: goo googa age 2: im a babada da age 3: thank god i can finally speak. listen, i've been observing u for 3 years now. what are u doing
Hell hath no fury like this woman attempting to type "scorned" and having it autocorrected to "scrotum" 13 times in a row.
A beggar walked up to me and said, I haven't eaten anything for days. I just looked at him and said, "God, I wish I had your willpower"
Don't ever date an Aztec woman.. They will rip your god damn heart out.
What's the big deal about jesus turning water into wine? I turned MY student loans into vodka...
Girl, You're like the devil. Hot as hell and horny.
Why doesn't Jesus buy beer? Hebrews.