My weather forecast is always "room temperature."
weather jokes
943 total · showing the first 120 · page 2 of 5
We have a local weatherman who often forecasts "changeable skies." He makes a lot of money to make that call.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow? ...Look for the Fresh Prints...
What's the difference between a weatherman and a well-hung dick doctor? One's a meteorologist and the other's a meaty urologist.
Why does Olaf have to be a snowMAN when he clearly has snow gender.
CNN reports Hurricane Patricia "hit luxury resorts and impoverished villages with equal ferocity." Did they expect wealth-based discernment?
How do you find Will Smith in the Snow? I don't know. Just look for the Fresh prints! Ha ha. He's also black.
New users will never know about the old Twitter. I'll tell them stories of it, and how I walked uphill both ways. In the snow.
Really, 6 more inches of snow today. My front yard is getting more action than me.
A survey says parents spend $1k on their children's electronics yearly. When WE were young we walked 5 miles uphill in the snow w/ NO APPS!
Whats similar between a hurricane and women? They come in hot and wet and leave with **THE LAWN CHAIRS WE BOUGHT TOGETHER SARA YOU BITCH!**
What do you call dangerous precipitation? A rain of terror
What is the difference between Snow White and Brazil? Snow White had the excuse of being asleep before letting seven in.
What did Snow White say when she came out of the photo booth? Some day my prints will come!
Why don't owls make love in the rain? Because it's too wet to woo.
Why did the snowman take his pants off? Because he heard the snow blower coming.
A friend was complaining about how hard it is to cook eggs sunny side up... I told him to put a lid on it.
Why does the indian rain dance always work? Becuase they keep dancing until it works.
CVS clerk: Receipt? Me: Sure *God uses 2 fingers to gently close the eyes of an entire rain forest*
People dating on the internet have it so easy. Back in my day, a man would walk uphill both ways in the snow to disappoint a woman.
A rainy Friday is still better than a sunny Monday...
What did the Hurricane say to the Palm tree? Hold onto your nuts this ain't going to be any ordinary Blow Job!!
Im so fucked up i wrote 3 tweets into my phone and texted them to the Hurricane Katrina fund.
Two Lumberjacks were killed during a recent hurricane. The next day's headline read: "Nature Shows Idiomatic Side; Kills Two Beards with One Storm".