birthday jokes

Kim Kardashian's birthday is today AND she got engaged to Kanye West! It's almost like it was made for TV! Wait....

What did little Hitler get for his birthday? His Third Treich.

My boyfriend isn't allowed to have candles on his birthday cake...Wtf are you wishing for? All your dreams came true when you met me.

What idiot called it the "Happy Birthday" song instead of New Age music

What did the porn star wear to court? Birthday suit

What does a snowman say to his son on his birthday?(dad joke) Happy Brr-day son!

Happy Birthday to me. 27 years old... in Spice Girl years.

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.

How did the Norse god of mischief celebrate his birthday? With a low-key event

My lesbian neighbors gave me a Timex for my birthday. It's nice, but I think they misunderstood me when I said, "I wanna watch."

What is an elf's favourite kind of birthday cake? Shortcake!

I bought the wife a new bag for her birthday..... Hoover works a treat now!

That moment when you mom says she was a virgin, but then 3 random dudes show up on your birthday with gifts.

[restaurant] ME: Bottle of shiraz pls. It's my birthday WAITER: Your birthday? It's on the house ME: [looking up] Do you have a ladder or

What did the Mexican kid get for his birthday? My bike :(

It's my birthday, so here's a related joke. Why are birthdays good for you? - - - - - Statistics show: those who have the most, live the longest.

I brought my girlfriend a fridge for her birthday You should have seen her face light up when she opened it.

Did you hear about the time Eddy's sister tried to make a birthday cake ? The candles melted in the oven.

I am against picketing, but I don't know how to show it Happy Birthday man, we miss you

What does a pirate say on his 80th birthday? aye matey!

My parents gave me a really cheap dictionary for my birthday yesterday. I couldn't find the words to thank them.

whenever someone says happy birthday.... all I hear is "Happy anniversary of the day your face rubbed your moms vagina"

People who clap at the end of movies also join in singing "Happy Birthday" at a restaurant for a stranger

I can't help but be disappointed at the brand new Rolex I received for my birthday from the lesbian couple next door. ... I think they misunderstood when I said, "I wanna watch."