birthday jokes

The best part of the birthday notifier on Facebook is, I meet people that I didn't even know were on my friends list.

What's the worst thing to give a norteno on their birthday? A SURprise party!!

For my birthday I'm going somewhere with no internet access. Pretty sure this will involve time travel and possibly dinosaurs.

I get so excited when someone brings out the cake at a birthday party because that means I can leave soon.

For her birthday, my wife wanted something that went from 0 to 80 in 5 seconds. So I got her a weighing machine...

How did SkyMall go bankrupt? I bought all my wife's birthday presents there before she left me.

"My birthday's coming" Do you know what I need?" "Yeah but how do you wrap a life?"

What Super Models should you invite to your birthday party ? Cake Moss and Naomi Candles

What do you get when you put birthday candles on a pizza? You can't figure it out? I mean, it's a pizz'a cake.

I'm angrier than a waitress forced to sing happy birthday

My friend's son wanted to be a "Super-Pirate" for his birthday... But after running against the door he discovered that even a "Super-Pirate" only needs one eyepatch

What do you call cute seeds? Awwwwwwwwwwwwmonds P.S. it's my birthday please love me

What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? aye maighty

What did Napoleon become when he was 41 years old ? A year older on his birthday !

I got an escort for my grandpa's 100th birthday. She said that she would give him super sex. He said "I'll take the soup."

Why did the boy feel warm on his birthday? Because people kept toasting him!

I just told my wife I am getting her a monkey for her birthday. She went bananas.

I'm in trouble with my wife. I totally forgot her special birthday' that was such a big deal apparently. Still, everything went fine and it was a healthy baby boy!

A boy asked his rich uncle for a cowboy outfit for his birthday.So the uncle bought him a used car dealership.

"Doctor I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake." "Next time take off the candles."

My wife told me she wanted to see a huge diamond for her birthday So I took her to a baseball game

Why couldn't the post-it note make it to his son's birthday party? Because he was stuck at the office!

I'd like to say something nice about you as it's your birthday. Why don't you? Because I can't think of a single thing to say!

Why was Thor disappointed by his birthday party? Because it was more Loki than he wanted.