halloween jokes

Cashier: haha that's a lotta candy, getting ready for Halloween early eh Me:... Cashier:... Me:... Cashier:... Me: yep

(Halloween Costume Shop) ME: *leaving after not finding anything* CASHIER: *pointing to my face* Those masks aren't free, buddy.

Hey kids, for Halloween, let's go to a spooooky place full of scaaaary, oppressive people & a guy who riiiises from the dead! Kids: Church?

What do hillbillies do on Halloween? Pumpkin.

scary Halloween costume idea: eye contact

My roommate dressed as a syringe for our Halloween house party. He's upstairs with the sexy girl wearing the Courtney Love costume. In the addict.

Doctor Doctor I'm so ugly what can I do about it? Hire yourself out for Halloween parties!

Why weren't you at the Halloween party? My costume was a black father so I couldn't be there.

U can give out anything on Halloween it doesn't have to be candy last year I gave a kid my cable bill it was awesome he paid it & everything

What is the favourite part of Halloween for a pedophile? The home delivery.

I told a joke I made up last Halloween! It got me a few Snickers.

What did the really ugly man do for a living? He posed for Halloween masks.

What was the Islamic Star Wars fan for Halloween? Hijabba the Hut

While they're a lot of fun on Halloween, did you know most jack-o'-lanterns end up at the pound? Please. Next year, carve a puppy.

I love getting Halloween candy... It makes me Snicker(s).

My favorite joke: What do hillbillies do for Halloween? Pump kin.

Desperate to get laid, so I'm going to my next Halloween party dressed as a giant anus ...I hear that hot girls love having sex with assholes

I dressed up as an enema for Halloween It really scares the crap out of people.

What do people from West Virginia do on Halloween? Pump Kin

I find it most unfair that the dentist in this neighborhood hands out toothbrushes for Halloween but the pharmacist doesn't hand out drugs.

Why don't you make like a tree & get slammed into by my drunk uncle on Halloween 97 why didnt you call a cab Uncle Gary we miss you so much

What do Hutterites do on Halloween? Pump-kin

How does a feminist ask for Halloween candies? Trigger Treat.

[Halloween] Lady: what are you this this year? Me: *dressed as a phone battery meter* I'm at 10% and it's only 7pm. Lady: *faints*