thanksgiving jokes

Why was the cook late to Thanksgiving dinner? He lost track of thyme. Happy Thanksgiving.

So my math teacher asked what I did over Thanksgiving... (-1)/8

What do Americans and Putin have in common? They'll both be nuking Turkey after Thanksgiving.

Remember: if the Pilgrims had shot a bobcat instead of a turkey, we'd all be eating pussy on Thanksgiving ...

What's the best way to eat a thanksgiving vegetable? Pick her up out of the wheelchair

Me: Where's your maternity section? Her: Over there. How far along is she? Me: Her? I'm shopping for my Thanksgiving pants. Her...

This thanksgiving, Turkey is fighting back

Hell of a way Americans celebrate thanksgiving. "Turkey shoots down Russian fighter jet"

In Russian thanksgiving, Turkey shoots you.

"I'm dreaming about mashed potatoes" Oh because Thanksgiving is tomorrow "No, just a normal mashed potato dream like usual"

Girls hope you celebrated Valentines Day responsibly, or you'll be celebrating Thanksgiving in a maternity ward

What does Miley Cyrus eat on Thanksgiving? Twerkey!

That's it. I'm quitting cold turkey. But damn Thanksgiving leftovers are so good. I need my fixin's.

What kind of NUT would make a pie for THANKSGIVING?!? Pecan, typically.

I've been addicted to eating the Thanksgiving leftovers... ...so I decided to quit cold turkey.

Thanksgiving joke What does Miley Cyrus eat for Thanksgiving? Twerky! Just kidding... Drugs. She eats drugs. -Adam Zopf @adamzopf

Suggested Thanksgiving Conversation starters: "Which God are we thanking again?" You're welcome :)

This salad isn't going to toss itself. *winks* - Things you shouldn't say as you pass food around the Thanksgiving table :(

Why couldn't the pirate have gravy with his thanksgiving dinner? Because someone stole his boat.

My wife is still mad at me for that 20 minute blank stare I did when she asked me what I was thankful for on Thanksgiving day.

Doesn't the president pardon a Turkish jet every thanksgiving?

How early do I need to start thawing the cat for Thanksgiving?

Thanksgiving. The day in 1621 when Native Americans shared a meal with undocumented immigrants who never left.

Russia will eat Turkey for thanksgiving this year.