language jokes

How do you make an archaeologist blush? [repost for spelling] You hand him a dirty tampon and ask him what period it's from!

I got it from my daddy? PSY How do you like my Pun? PSY-ber Monday lol

With all the racism talk going around I thought I would do my part to put a stop to it. I am no longer going to use the word "Vinegar" at work because it sounds slightly racist.

I tried looking up another word for butthurt But I can't find my thesoreass.

The only "B" word women should be called is... is beautiful. Bitches love being called beautiful.

4yo has repeated one word for an hour. 6yo is ninja fighting his imaginary friend. My move to a mental asylum will be an easy transition.

5yo: I dropped my damn spoon! Me: Don't be using that word! 5yo: Is it a bad word? Me: It is.. 5yo: Ok..I dropped my damn "food scooper"?

What doesn't kill a grammar nazi makes me wronger.

Theres this one word I always stumble on when I try to remember it.... oh yeah, the word is forget.

What word starts with F, ends with UCK, and people look for it when it gets a little too hot... A firetruck... .. You dirty person you... :-)

What is the only English word a French-Canadian knows? Sorry.

Procrastinators be like; Sofa so good My attempt on pun

Canadian Defenition Canadian (noun): An unarmed american with health insurance

You know you're an Alcoholic when you can't even say the word "sober" without making air quotes

Instead of taking The "N" word out of Huckleberry Finn, take it out of the brains of millions of bigots.

The word Diputseromneve' may look ridiculous... But backwards it's even more stupid.

A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

So I was nailing my girl from behind ... After we were done she turns to me and says. "my friends tell me you are a pedophile." To which I reply "That is an awfully big word for a 10 year old"

For those with kids who love Frozen..... Knock Knock. Whose there? You. You who? You Who, big summer blowout! (Norwegian accent)

A jew just won the nobel prize. what do you say to him? congrajulations Edit: do those who downvoted know the real spelling of congratulations ?

The biggest difference between men and women is what comes to mind when the word 'Facial' is used.

how to comfort a grammar Nazi: Pat their shoulder and say, "Their, They're, There."

Take Dr. Seuss, make him a black midget with chronic asthma and give him access to Urban Dictionary. Behold, Lil' Wayne.

To the guy who made the wrong website pun Woops, wrong internet universe