If I had a dollar for every time I got distracted, I wish I had a puppy.
pets jokes
5,094 total · showing the first 120 · page 4 of 5
Dog keeps sighing melodramatically. I know he wants me to ask him what's wrong, but I'm not falling for it.
We used to have a dog with no back legs and steel balls We called him Sparky.
What do you call a dog who likes to eat at subway? A sub-woofer!!
HOW TO BECOME A CRAZY CAT LADY: 1) Get a cat. 2) Repeat.
[purposefully keeps messing up my hot dog eating scene] director: cut! [sighs] bring in another hot dog, take 11
They say that dog is mans best friend ... ... but I don't have enemies that stare me directly in the eye whilst taking a shit on my carpet
This stray cat on my balcony is looking at me like I'm invading its privacy.
What do you call it when a Cat wins a Dogshow? Cat-has-trophy. Such punny. Much Cringe.
Why do animal rights activists hate NASA? Because curiosity killed the cat.
What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him, he won't be able to come to you.
What is the difference between a Cat fish and a lawyer? One is a shit eating bottom sucker. The other one is a fish...
What did the HTML coding dog say? Href Href!
What do you do to an Islamic dog that barks too much? Musl'im
The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.
What do you do if you accidentally cut off your cat's tail? Take him to WalMart. They are the largest retailer in the world.
my dad is like boost mobile. where you at dog? ;(
As a kid, I put snowballs in the blender to make a slushy. Snowballs was a good cat...
What is a cat's favorite tropical destination? Meowi
Curiosity actually killed my cat. Worst stripper ever.
My sister got upset that I washed our puppy with my own, human shampoo. I reassured her it had already been tested on dogs.
Friend: "This is the year I'm going to marry my best friend." Me: "This is the year I'm going to train my dog to come when I call him."
How do you teach your dog to roll over ? Put him on fire.
Are you a cat person or a person person?