pilot jokes

I was woken on the plane by a panicky stewardess That's how i lost my job as a pilot.

PILOT: if you look out the window you'll see we're cruising at 35,000 feet [i look out the window] [THE SKY IS FULL OF FEET JESUS CHRIST]

What do you call a black man flying an airplane? The pilot you racist assholes.

What do you call a black man flying an aeroplane?... ... a pilot, you racist fuck

What do you call a middle eastern man flying a plane? The Pilot, you racist.

Please don't joke about 9/11, my uncle was on one of the planes. He was the best pilot in Saudi Arabia.

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? The Pilot.... you racist fucks

What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A Pilot you fucking racist.

Pilot episode You know how you can tell if a shows going to be any good based on the pilot, since it sets the tempo for the entire show? I just realized that my dad didn't like the pilot of my life...

What do you call a black man flying a plane? The pilot, you racists.

What do you call a Black Man flying a Plane? The Pilot you racist fuck.

Did you hear about the pilot who went on sick leave? He had the flew.

Tower: What's your heigth and position? Pilot: Well I'm 6 foot tall and I'm sitting front left.

Too soon for a knock knock joke? "Knock knock" "Who's there?" "The pilot, let me in!!!"

What did the pilot say to the Vietnamese mechanic underneath the plane? " "You are the Nguyen beneath my wings"

Pilot: Tower there's a runway light burning. Tower: I'm sure there must be dozens of lights burning. Pilot: Sorry I mean it's smoking.

What were the Kamikaze Pilot's last words? "Watch this cause i'll only do it once."

A vulture tries to get on an airplane with a raccoon under each wing. The pilot stops him saying, "Sorry, you're only allowed one carry-on."

I decided to leave work an hour early today You should have seen the look on the co-pilot's face when I grabbed that parachute.

I finally got my TV show commissioned by the BBC. Its where we film inside the cockpit of an airplane. Were filming the pilot next week.

I let Jesus be my co-pilot once. Terrible decision, really. I was all, "Drive, Jesus! Drive!" And he was like, "No hablo ingles, senor!"

In Hollywood, an actor and his crew shot a pilot They could all be facing at least six months in jail.

What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot you racist.

Pilot: Tower please call me a fuel truck. Tower: Roger. You are a fuel truck.