pilot jokes

[mouse plane] mouse pilot: hello folks, this is your captain squeaking- *mouse passengers squeal with delight*

What causes a pilot to cry after sex? ...the [mace](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mace_(spray)

pilot: [via intercom] if you dont shut up back there i will stop this plane co-pilot: [quieter] wont it fall out the sky pilot: not now gary

(NSFW) What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist fucks...

What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot. What did you think, you racist mother fucker?

Knock Knock Who's there? The Pilot. Let me in.

Are you a pilot? Because I'd like a trip straight to Djibouti.

How many pilots does it take to change a light bulb? None it is done by the automatic pilot.

What did the pilot say to the co-pilot right before the UPS plane crash in Alabama? Too soon.

How do you tell if there's a Pilot in the room? They've already told you.

hello, this is the co-pilot speaking. the captain can't talk cause we both said "hope we don't die haha" at the same time and i jinxed him

They made a TV series about 9/11 But it didn't get past the pilot

I just hope people who say "Jesus is my co-pilot" realize he's a 1st century carpenter with no time in a flight simulator.

what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot you fucken racist!

Why was the pilot flying circles over South Korea? He was Seoul searching.

My dad got fired recently for sleeping on the job. He didn't like being a pilot that much anyway.

Hello everyone this is your pilot speaking. If u look out the windows on your left youll see some fish. This is the worst Ive ever messed up

Ladies & gentlemen, this is your pilot speaking. If you look thru the left hand windows right now you'll see me doing the worm on the runway

What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot..... you racist bastard.

Why did the plane crash??? The pilot was a load of bread!

What do you call a black man flying a plane? Pilot. You racist fuck.

My friend's teacher everyone : Help me please! There's a little plane on my phone and I can't call! Should I call the pilot for him to delete it?

The pilot asks over the PA system whether there's a doctor on board From the back a guy shouts "I'm a vegan!"

What do you call a black guy flying a plane A pilot you RACIST!