What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? It's Christmas, Eve!
holidays jokes
2,589 total · showing the first 120 · page 4 of 5
What's the difference between Christmas and the Great Marianas Turkey Shoot? At Christmas, there's a nip in the air.
This Christmas buy your Hoes something nice. cause its the thot that counts
What did the little black boy get for Christmas? My bike
Happy Easter And to the Jews, better luck next time
YOU KNOW WHAT THE BEST PART OF BEING ADDICTED TO METH IS?!? ONLY ONE MORE NIGHT TILL CHRISTMAS!
My heart goes out to all the parents who are about to see how much weight their kids have gained at college during the Thanksgiving break.
What's your new year's resolution? Mine is 1440 * 900.
Damn girl, are you a pig? Because your mother looks like a pig. Because you look damn hot bacon in the Sun. Because I want to stuff you like Thanksgiving dinner. . . . More suggestions appreciated
To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas present - They are due back at the library tomorrow.
Someone asked me, "How can you celebrate Christmas if you don't believe in God?" I responded with, "How can you celebrate Valentine's Day if nobody loves you?"
I asked Santa for something to wear and something to play with... He brought me a pair of trousers with holes in the pockets. Merry Christmas everyone!
*kid opens Easter egg* *egg begins beeping* "Dad why's it ticking" SON NO THAT'S FROM THE- *egg explodes* *sheds tear* Middle-Easter bunny
What does an orphan get for Christmas? Really lonely.
My girlfriend doesn't know this, but I put a dollar in an envelope every time we have sex. That's all I'm spending on her for Christmas. So far she's getting a McChicken.
Mommy, why am I getting my Christmas presents in august? "Because it's cheaper than chemo"
What would you call the easter egg roll if Bernie Sanders became president? Weekend at Bernie's.
What's the most confusing holiday in the hood? Kwanzaa. I don't think anyone has a clue what that holiday is.
What do you call someone who loves Christmas but doubts the existence of God? Eggnog-stic.
Nicki Minaj washes off her Halloween make up to reveal Lady Gaga who washes her face to reveal Madonna who washes her face to reveal an Emu.
I think my favorite Thanksgiving food is pie But some people say that's irrational...
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves! Just kidding... He hasn't unwrapped his present yet
Why did the wizard wear a yellow robe to the Halloween party? He was going as a banana.
Really stupid math joke What do mathematicians confuse Halloween and Christmas? Because Dec 25 = Oct 31