What's the key to a great Thanksgiving? Turkey
holidays jokes
2,589 total · showing the first 120 · page 3 of 5
What do homeless people get for Christmas? Hypothermia.
Thanksgiving regret: no one at dinner wanted to talk about why the family members on TV's "Dinosaurs" were all different species of dinosaur
A bit of Christmas Doggerel Oh, you better not shout, you better not cry, you better bite the pillow, cuz I'm going in dry.
Girl 1: "Can I invite a few friends to your Halloween party?" Girl 2: "Sure. The more the scarier!"
Katy Perry is like the girl in the Sexy GirlScout costume at the Halloween party who pretends to like sports, makes blowjob jokes and cries.
What do you call a Japanese Halloween Cake? Bookkake
What do Hispanic weeaboos say on Christmas? Feliz NYAHHHH-vidad
Easter is almost here. So to celebrate, I'm going to get nailed and hammered like Jesus would want me to.
what did a crab say to another crab on christmas hey sandy claws
Today I asked the gamer what his new year's resolution is. He said "1920 x 1200"
What does deaf, mute and blind person get for christmas? Cancer
I go to the gym religiously Christmas, and maybe Easter
Why do dyslexic children get nothing for Christmas? They are writing to Satan.
I'm dressing up as Bernie Sanders for halloween I'm going to take the candy from the rich kids and give it all to the poor ones
What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common? Their balls are just for decoration
Why does Father Christmas go down chimneys? Because they soot him!
I'm not a good cook. At Christmas my family got together and bought me a stove that flushes.
How did Darth Vader know what Luke was getting for Christmas? Q: How did Darth Vader know what Luke was getting for Christmas? A: He could feel his presence!
Kids here's a tip. Next Christmas leave Santa marijuana cookies and watch how happy your parents magically become the next morning
I stayed at my girlfriends family's place durring the Christmas break. Her father was being a prick and wouldn't let us sleep together, which is a shame, because he is a real good looking guy.
My favorite part of the holiday party is getting to meet my coworkers' dates & find out who chooses to put up with these people for free.
I'm a show off but not drive around with Christmas lights on my car show off And that's when I realized it was a cop car
What's Bill Clintons favorite holiday? According to Lewinsky... Happy Employee Appreciation Day!