Do you know why the Easter Bunny hides his eggs? Because he doesn't want anyone to know he's been FUCKING CHICKENS!!!
holidays jokes
2,589 total · showing the first 120 · page 2 of 5
Me on New Year's Day: 2016 is so going to be my year! (Morgan Freeman narration): 2016 would not, in fact, be anyone's year.
How come there are like a thousand songs about Christmas but only one song about the boys being back in town? This is not original
Next on a SPOOKY Friends: Ross invites new girl to Halloween party but Rachel shows up! WITCH one will he choose? Phoebe dies of dysentery.
Yo mama so ugly when she walks down the street in September people say "Wow is it Halloween already?"
'twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, everyone was screaming... Just cuz I went into the wrong house.
Knock knock joke I came up with over Christmas Knock knock Who's there? Would you like to talk about Jesus?
What will Putin have for thanksgiving dinner? Turkey
As told to me by my dad who smokes a lot Did the disappointed smoker get everything he wanted for Christmas? Clothes but no cigar.
Christmas is shit. Whoever invented it should be nailed to a cross.
Tomorrow's Thanksgiving! Have a fowl meal!
Seasons Greetings by Mary Christmas
I asked my Nan what she wanted for Christmas. "Something from the Body Shop please," she replied..... Hope she's got enough room in the flat for the front wing off a Mondeo.
What does Miley Cyrus eat for Thanksgiving? Twerky I'll show myself out.
"Why are you studying your Easter candy?" "I'm trying to decide which came first-the chocolate chicken or the chocolate egg!"
Sorry! Just saw these texts now! Hope your birthday party, Christmas and wedding were great!
According to my laptop, my New Year's resolution is 1680 x 1050.
Jewish If a Jew celebrates christmas they're only Jewish.
Some folks say if you go into a Halloween store late at night, you can see the ghosts of the Blockbuster employees who used to work there.
Lindt have done well this Christmas They've made a killing
What do you call a chocolate Easter bunny that was out in the sun too long? A runny bunny.
Cheesy Christmas Jokes? Does any one know any really cheesy but actually really funny christmas jokes? short ones as they are easier to send? struggling to think of any myself
Hubby wanted to start the new year out with a bang So I shot him..
all i want for christmas this year is to get off all social media forever