easter jokes

Is the dog ending in Silent Hill 2 an easter egg? Or is it actually canine in the storyline?

What's the difference between a male and female chocolate Easter bunny? About a quarter inch of chocolate

My mom asked me what I was doing for Easter ... I said, "Same as Jesus. Going out on Friday and coming back Sunday"

4yo: Can I have some more Easter candy? Me: After lunch 4yo: I want lunch right now. I'm starving!! Me: We just ate breakfast 4yo: Starving!

I was in an elevator with the Easter bunny yesterday It was a hare raising experience.

Easter used to be called Wester But they decided to take things in a new direction.

Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? Because he doesn't want anyone to know he's screwing a chicken.

What is the Easter Bunny's favourite state capital? Albunny New York!

What is the Easter Bunny's favourite sport? Basket-ball of course!

How do you catch the Easter Bunny? Hide in the bushes and make a noise like a carrot!

What day does an Easter egg hate the most? Fry-days.

How does the Easter Bunny stay in shape? He does lots of bare-obics.

Where did the Easter Bunny go to college? Johns Hopkins!

Guy on fb posted a picture of his baby w/ the caption "1st Easter!" Hell no, there have been like 2000, we're not starting over just for him

What's red and blue and sogs up your Easter basket? Coloured scrambled eggs

Why are you stuffing all that Easter candy into your mouth?" "Because it doesn't taste as good if I stuff it in my ears."

What would you get if you crossed the Easter Bunny with a famous French general? Napoleon Bunnyparte!

Did you hear the one about the Easter Bunny who sat on a bee? It's a tender tail!

Why did you drive the lawn mower over your Easter basket? I thought the plastic grass was growing too high!

What kind of stories does Eli Whitney tell on Easter? Cottontales

Not now, kids. Mommy's boiling the Easter bunny.

My mum asked me what i had planned for easter. I told her same as Jesus. Im going out on Friday and i will be back on Sunday

Me: Happy Easter! Taylor Swift: I hate Easter! It's all a lie! Me: The Jesus thing? Taylor Swift: Ya... Men don't come back after 3 Days!

Arnold Schwarzenegger wakes up on easter morning...