halloween jokes

How do you get the most apples at Halloween? Take a snorkel.

What do you get if you let your child dress up as Link for Halloween and they eat to much candy? A hyper-Link!

The best halloween costume of the year goes too... Bruce Jenner!

ladies: the day after Halloween, don't forget to buy all the discounted blood capsules to keep in your mouth when men tell you to smile

Mad props to New York for dressing up as New Orleans for Halloween.

A guy goes to a Halloween party with nothing but a condom on his nose... Someone asks him "what have you come as." The guy shrugs his shoulders and says "fuck knows"

Thinking about going as a prostitute for Halloween, but confused about at what point turning a trick becomes a treat.

Why is the air so clean and healthy on Halloween? Because so many witches are sweeping the sky.

I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year... Now, it's Election night.

"why didnt you come to the Halloween party?" I was a black kids father for Halloween this year.

This Halloween on the East Coast I heard a lot of people are going to be the Scorpions this Halloween. Because we're gonna get rocked like a hurricane.

Where are the Halloween jokes?

The lesson of Halloween is that pretending to be something you're not will lead to a sweet reward.

thinking about eating a lot of candy. which i have obtained legaly, through the trick or treat system, for many years

Jehovah Witnesses don't celebrate Halloween; I guess they don't appreciate random people coming up to their doors.

Why is Halloween a hillbilly's favorite holiday? Because they like to pumpkin. I'll see myself out...

Why was the boy unhappy to win the prize for the best costume at the Halloween party? Because he just came to pick up his little sister.

How do you tell when it's Halloween at Lana Del Ray's house? Her pussy tastes like candy corn.

What do Hillbillies do for Halloween? They pump kin

You know what they do in West Virginia for Halloween? They pump kin

I heard Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate Halloween I guess they don't appreciate random people knocking on their door

kid dressed as dog: "trick or treat" me: wife: "give him some chocolate then" me: "i don't want to kill him linda"

Last Halloween I had to explain to everyone that I was not a ghost with a boner, but I was just a ghost and I happened to have a boner.

What did the really ugly man do for a living ? He posed for Halloween masks !